I work in a place that has 100+ people in it every day. I was quite surprised when one of the guys approached me and asked if I wanted to go to Starbucks with him. Of course I said yes. We had a good first conversation and about a week later we bar hopped and went bowling. It was fun and we talked about this and that. I was especially curious on why a guy would like me. Most people see me as a young boy or immediately assume that I am a lesbian. He liked my playfulness and how I was not ‘fake’ like so many females are. That was the problem, he saw me as female. Now I am pre-hormones so this is not a surprising scenario. But I also know that a charade of deception as big as gender cannot go on for too long. Today I tried to tell him in person in the Starbucks where we had our first encounter. I was too chicken to get the words out. Instead I told him I had something important to say and that he could think it over. I explained as best as I could in text message once I got home and explained that it was private medical information and wanted to keep it that way. I do not need a place with 100+ workers spreading that kind of gossip around. He is a gentleman so I do not expect any problems. It was a deal breaker for him and I cried a little bit. It made me sad because I was so hopeful that it would not be a big deal for him. This has been the first guy interested in me since high school and the first since I discovered I was trans. I wanted to go out and have fun with him since I had not had that kind of experience in a long time. I know now that I should have said something right when he invited me for coffee but I held my tongue. I will learn from this experience, that is for sure. I do know that hormones will be the future but my decision for them will not be explained in this post.
Archive for February, 2016