Archive for August, 2013


About a week ago I went on a shopping trip by myself. First I hit up target and was quickly disappointed in that they only had sale racks for girl clothes. A $5 off tag in the men’s department does not constitute as “on sale” for me. Then I headed over to kohls next door. They had so many racks on sale in every department it was wonderful. I found a nice pair of $56 dollar men’s pants for $12 and some swim trunks for $6, which I plan to use a lot next year.

I think I will break down and buy myself a membership to the YMCA after my surgery. Unlimited swimming pool and workout room use here I come. The $300ish cost for a year is the price to pay to be able to swim again.

I found out how to read the men’s sizing tag from one of the nice kohls ladies. She didn’t even look at me strange. The first number is the waist and the second is the length. The pants I bought were 30×32. They were way to long. I never found a pair of 30×30 to try on but I’m guessing they are my size. Another sale lady said that some people my size can find things over in the boys department. Since I’m between that stage of boy-manness. I did discover in my boy department shopping that those shirts fit me and don’t go to my knees. I will now be looking for button downs in the boys department the next time I go to salvation army. I tried on an boys XL button down at kohls and it seemed to fit okay. I wasn’t sure how to tell exactly so I didn’t buy any shirts. Plus I want cheap ones in case I get blood on them post surgery.

The good news is that those trucks were man trunks, not boy trucks. Though I did try a lot of boy trunks on. It was annoying because some mother and her two boy brats kept standing in front of the trunk rack the whole time I was there. They were way too flashy and I settled for a plain black pair. My initial plan was to find a black pair with blue lightning bolts on them. I was curious how man trunks kept everything inside when swimming and it turns out there is a liner of mesh undies sewed in the trunks. Who would of guessed.

I also got a security wallet. I hope to go back soon for more things. I’m still in the girl underwear mode and am wondering how to make the switch over. I can’t really be trying underwear on at the store now can I. Any ideas? I don’t really need a place for my non-existent junk down there so maybe they make a middle underwear that isn’t obviously girly. Boxers won’t work since most of my pants are still girl pants and won’t fit underneath them.


Planning Surgery Part 3

The surgeon called me earlier this week. He answered most of my questions and reminded me of how bad I suck at talking on the phone. The secretary still needs to call me sometime this week to officially set my appointments and for me to pay the deposit to hold the date; but it is pretty much set. Surgery will be January 9th 2014. I will see him the day before for my consult and the day after to make sure I am healing fine. January 15th I should get the drains out if all goes well. I will be in the area for over a week. He even gave me the option to go home between the 10th and the 15th but grandma freaked out when I mentioned it. She wants to be close to the hospital just in case.

Here’s my new breakdown of costs.

$4500 surgeons fee paid with care credit. To pay off after I go back to work after surgery.

$1500 cash for rest of surgeons fee.

$2400 cash for facility and anaesthesiologist fee.

$300-500 cash for pathology report.

$900 cash for 9 day stay in the area hotel. (the surgeon will be updating his site soon to give me better figures)

$120 for gas round trip. 7 hours each way.

That totals $4500 in credit and $5420 in cash spent.


I also inquired about some liposuction for below the belly button. He estimated around $1500 but no more than $2000. It would be done in the same surgery to be cheaper. I’ve started exercising again to try to get rid of this flab. If I get rid of it before January then I won’t get the lipo, if not then I probably will. Here’s hoping.

Here’s what it looked like back in early March. It may not look bad to you but it drives me crazy. Am rocking the penguin pajamas.


I will post my exercise routines in another post soon.


Today I went shopping at Giant Eagle. When we were done we went to the checkout and put our stuff on the moving belt to pay. I grabbed the recycle bags and was helping the cashier put them on top of the plastic bags. Grandma exclaims “Are you helping her or just making it more difficult?” Cashier says “Oh he’s helping me.”

Feels good.

That’s in long pants and a big hoodie, with my short shaved head that has grown out for a month.


Planning Surgery Part 2

I have been communicating back and fourth with Lake Forest Plastic Surgery in Illinois. The surgeon has yet to call me but I expect it to happen sometime this week. Turns out you can get a %5 discount if you pay with cash or check. The bad news is it only applies to the surgeons fee of $6000. The worse news is care credit can only be used on the surgeons fee. Due to my financial situation it looks like I won’t be saving that $300 dollars.

Here is the current breakdown of my expected costs. It will most likely change closer to time.

$3000 surgeons fee paid with care credit. To pay off after I go back to work after surgery.

$3000 cash for rest of surgeons fee.

$2400 cash for facility and anaesthesiologist fee.

$300-500 cash for pathology report. (Something everyone should get to make sure you don’t die of cancer)

$700 cash for 7 day stay in the area. Hotel.

$250 cash for round trip for two plane tickets.

$120 for gas round trip. 7 hours each way. We decided it is cheaper to drive then don’t have to worry about transportation when we get there.

That totals $3000 in credit and $6720 in cash spent. As long as I have the care credit the costs are very affordable for a January surgery.

I plan to also see what he could do with the area below my belly button and how much it will cost.

Attention! This Is Not A Trend

So true.

There are two things in the queer community that need to be addressed and need to stop. I see non-queer people doing this as well, but most of the issue seems to be in the community itself. These two things are the idea of ‘trend tr*nnies’ and identity policing. While similar and intertwined, they are two unique issues.

‘Trend tr*nnies’ are trans* people who are trans* (and very open about it) just for attention. They are believed to hopping on a bandwagon just to be unique and different. Here is the problem with this. You are questioning people on something they only know. Also, these people tend to be teenagers. Teenagers tend to try on identities, personalities, likes, dislikes, etc. It’s part of being a teenager. It’s part of growing up. Gender and sexuality are extremely fluid and can change. This does not mean that the previous identity was not…

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How To Stop The Dreaded Periods.

I got three follows and a post ‘like’ overnight. That was pretty cool.

Periods. Periods. Periods. Every FAAB (female assigned at birth) that I know of hates them. They aren’t fun and just get in the way of living your life. Worse of all for me it made the middle school years turn into a big emptiness that I don’t even remember, well except for bits and pieces. The “maturing” thing as a whole probably was the cause of that but it wouldn’t of been so bad if I didn’t bleed. Fast forward to 18-19 I forget which one. I was just sick of periods. They weren’t extremely painful as long as I took some pain pills and the flow wasn’t so terrible that I needed super heavy tampons in 24/7 but it still sucked. It doesn’t matter how much you bleed, any blood is bad.

I forget exactly how it happened but I ended up at the doctor with my mom for some reason and some how I convinced them both that I needed these periods to stop. Yeah that same idiot doctor that doesn’t keep track of my appointments… He mentioned birth control pills but that wasn’t going to work for me. No way would I remember to take one each day. Then he mentioned Depo-Provera. You can read all about it here.

The worse part about it was the pap smear… but once you get over that no problems. Fun thing is the Depo looks like testosterone as far as I can tell and is injected the same way. The best part is it’s only one shot every three months. The nurse at the doctors office does it so there is no co-pay either. Some of those nurses suck though. If the Depo is about to run on my pants wipe it up fast!!! Don’t let it drip on my clothes!!!!! That has happened on more than one occasion.

I pay $56 every three months with my insurance for the shot. Without insurance it is $90. At least where I am. The $56 is well worth the cost of not having to buy pads, tampons, and lots of pain pills every month. Plus chuck in new underwear occasionally. Even if all of those don’t quite add up to $56 the relief of not bleeding is worth the cost difference.

I have been taking Depo for over two years and haven’t had any problems with it. I recommend it as a short term “before you are out to your parents, get rid of periods” option or a “I have to wait for T*” option. I didn’t even know I was trans when I started it but it has made life more bearable and made me able to hold a job without having to worry about bleeding at work. Tan pants and blood don’t mix well…

*Note that I don’t know the effects of taking Depo and then starting straight on T so ask your doctor so you don’t get any medication issues. You don’t want to risk getting sick and dying now. I would love to know if it is safe to do, so if anyone asks their doctor please tell me.

Things I Am Looking Forward To Post-Op

Things I Am Looking Forward To Post-Op.

So many things to look forward to. I don’t want to waste my youth and miss out on all the wonders of being in the 20s.